So, what, if anything, can do to add more joy to lives? Is it possible to change our general outlook on life, even…or especially when we are living in a hard season? How do we become more emotionally resilient people? This is obviously a bigger topic than this short article can cover in depth. However, I did want to pass along what I have been learning this year.
In their book, The Other Half of Church, authors Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks explain that “…joy is the fuel on which the brain was designed to run.” They describe our brains as having a default emotional state, set during the first 18 months of life. This should be joy, however, instead it is set to one of six unpleasant emotions that the brain recognizes—sadness, fear, anger, shame, disgust, and hopeless despair. And this was set not by choice, but rather by what was happening in our early life.
The hopeful news is that scientists have discovered that we can in fact rewire our brains. The term neuroplasticity describes the brain's ability to form new neural connections, or pathways. Wilder and Hendricks write, “We can reset our default emotional state to joy. This happens in our brains as a response to repeated exposure to a state of gratitude. Gratitude is the on-ramp for raising joy in our lives.”
Reliving memories for which we are grateful is one way the brain can form these new pathways. Wilder and Hendricks offer us this simple practice to help us increase capacity for joy. It involves the use of our memories, especially those that help us feel grateful or connected to God. It has been a helpful practice for me, so I wanted to pass it along. I encourage you to read their book, too.
Gratitude Memories (from The Other Half of Church, by Wilder and Hendricks):
1. Think of memories in your life for which you are grateful. These memories can be big or small. Each memory should have two characteristics: 1) you feel gratitude in your body, and 2) you feel a connection with God in the memory.
2. As memories come to mind, give each a short title (“Goldfinch” or Balloon soccer”)
3. Create a list of these titles. (I keep them in my notes on my phone)
4. Once a day, spend five minutes residing in gratitude using your list of grateful memories. It is mostly nonverbal. You are feeling a connection with God in your body as you relive memories of gratitude.
5. Once you can consistently sustain a solid five-minute state of gratitude, you are ready to start the Thirty-Day Joy Exercise.
The Thirty-Day Joy Exercise
1. Spend 5 minutes of gratitude three times a day. Consistency is key.
2. Sometime during the thirty days, your brain will respond to this repeated exposure to gratitude. It will reset your default emotional state to joy.